Under the Cloud, it is Cloudy

Under the cloud, it is cloudy.

And real.
There will be times when all we can see are clouds.
And that is real, too.
Even when others are in the sunshine just beside you.

Sometimes it takes a kind of faith that reminds me there is more to the picture,

that it isn't cloudy everywhere,

that it won't always be cloudy.
That is also real.

The Lamb

Shadow's Shape and Shadows Shape

Seeing shadows and darkness as part of a bigger picture, a bigger story can be surprising.

Unfolding of Words

The unfolding of Your words gives light...

Words Without Pictures - Living With - Living Alongside

I was young, not even a teenager. Standing in the church foyer with people all around, young and old, all, I was alone. Maybe a more accurate way to convey how I felt would be to say I was an imposter; not a real part of the church family because of what we had in our family. I didn't feel like I was like the rest - real.

You see, we had mental illness in our family and people didn't really know what to do with that. We didn't really know what to do with that. Looking back from today's point of view, I can't imagine how they would have known what the right way to be was, what the path through could possibly be, or what the path beside may have been. Who could tell them? Not us. We didn't know.

Even now, with many years having gone by, some strides made in the forward direction around awareness while a few taken away by media hype, I'm not sure society, including the church, knows how best to walk alongside the mentally ill. I know I don't, not the best way, just the best I know so far. And it is the same for all of us, we know the best we know so far.

Our family has certainly had opportunity to learn, share, inform, maybe even educate and we've been very fortunate to have many in our church and community today, want to understand. I am very thankful for this, for these caring people who have loved us well and I am also thankful for any chance to expand understanding. There has been improvement. And there is room for more. For all of us, me included, maybe especially.

My mom suffered many, many years with mental illness. So did we. It is not only the mentally ill who suffer but also those who love them and maybe even those who do not. Its reach is far.

This illness, cruel as it can be with whatever face it shows, does not make those who live with it 'less than'. It took me a long while to learn that. It took my son getting diagnosed with mental illness for me to really know that. He is not 'less than'...nor is my mom. Nor am I as a daughter and mother of those with mental illness. They, we, are made in God's image, after all.

My mom and my son have both taught me much with their struggle through crises and their living with the illness. Their courage and hope rock my world. Their journeys are not without struggle and also not without triumph. Like all of ours.

Naming the Year

I got the idea to name the coming year from this blog post called What the Year Needs Most. If you have time, check it out. The thought is to name the year with a word that will reflect the hope we have for the time ahead. It will help to focus our thoughts and efforts...to be intentional in our living.

Immediately, one word came to mind and I've decided to let it stay as 2013's name...Community.

To build community, we have to take a look at how things are now, a good look, an honest look, not with the intent to criticize but with the intent to pray, heal and then build.

There will undoubtedly be good things about the community we look at. And there will also be some sad things and hurtful things where tenderness, humility, forgiveness and love are needed.

There are always things we can do to improve community, things we can do to foster and encourage community. When we do them, there is a ripple effect. When we do not, there is a ripple effect.

It takes effort and commitment and work to love one another well. And it is worth it. 

Fortunately, there is a source of Love that never runs dry that I can tap into and allow to flow through me as I seek to care for the community around me.

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
Ephesians 3:14-19

Words Without Pictures

How quick am I to tease apart Mary's boy-child's presence from His purpose? For to us a child is born, to us a son is given... Why?

I wouldn't consider leaving any gift under the tree unopened, never mind the best and biggest gift. But by my actions of separating out Christmas from the cross, do I not leave the greatest gift of all, wrapped up in swaddling clothes, lying beneath the tree?

Peace

I give you peace, the kind of peace that only I can give.

It isn't like the peace that this world can give.

So don't be worried or afraid.

John 14:27

Advent: Hope
Advent: Joy

Christmas Question

Can Christmas come to the cold and hard places?

My God, He does good work.

He never ceases to amaze me as I look at His work, His creation. How beautiful. What an artist, the Master Artist!

Words Without Pictures

I've spent a lot of time thinking about spring and the new life it brings. It can be exciting and so full of amazing changes. But last Sunday, my thoughts shifted to the season of summer as a guest speaker spoke at our church.

Aaron Wiebe talked about summer being a foretaste of heaven. A summertime of the heart can be the opposite of winter when God may feel remote, distant. Summer is a time of abundance and fruitfulness.

Aaron encouraged us to revel in summer (enjoy, play, rest), water in summer (water our souls, leave water footprints wherever we go), gather in summer (what God gives, give back - be expectant to both give and receive that which is precious) and finally, prune in summer (don't mistake leafiness for fruitfulness).

I came away feeling sun-kissed and Son-kissed, both. I was encouraged and filled with hope, inspired to go through this coming season of summer in a new way, starting right now.

For your amusement I scanned my notes from Sunday and will include them below (it's not really a picture so I'll keep my post title). To most, this will make no sense - it is jibberish, but I am a visual and creative learner. Learning in church doesn't stop that. (To my embarrassment I see that I misspelled 'foretaste'...oh well...)

Words Without PIctures

I think I may have finally figured it out. After all these years of being told and having read that the joy of the Lord is our strength (in the book of Nehemiah), I think I might just understand what that means. Up until recently, my head knew the words but I didn't really know how to access a strength that came from this joy.

Oh I have believed that God has given me strength over time but I think I may well have missed out on strength available to me but not accessed because of my own choices. I think the understanding of this truth lies at the same crossroads where we make these kinds of choices between joy...or something else.

Recently I have been inspired to choose joy. There are some remarkable people in this world who have lived some pretty difficult lives, walked some challenging roads and yet you'd never know it by their demeanor. They exude joy. This inspires me to do the same, even when I don't feel like it. Especially when I don't feel like it.

Here is my theory. If, at the end of the day, a hard life is what is and what remains, would I not rather be joyful along the way than miserable? And maybe, just maybe, a hard life might be a little less hard when joy is present.

Knowing I can actually choose joy in the midst of chaos is necessary. Reaching for God's grace to choose the joy that He provides, and resulting strength, is key.

This week I saw the connection...for real! I decided to choose joy and decided again and again as I came to that same intersection where choice lay many times in one day. The days were better. Circumstances didn't necessarily change but the days were better. I felt stronger, less overwhelmed by some significant challenges.

I have also felt joy. Finally understanding truth and how to apply it to my life has a way of contributing to that! A little further in the passage in Nehemiah where the joy of the Lord being our strength is mentioned (see above link), we read how choosing joy and understanding God's Word did bring joy...for real!

Light

May Light shine through me.

Words Without Pictures

At the end of the day, God remains good, no matter what the day holds. At the beginning, in the middle and at the end of each day, each minute, each second, He is good.

Sometimes I let my worries get in front of this truth. I let them become bigger than what they should be. I invite them into places they do not belong and allow them to dictate my actions...and usually my actions that come from this place are not good, nor are they healthy. They tend to be a grasping and clutching, a controlling kind of mess. Pretty ugly, actually.

It can feel unstoppable, the worry rushing in. But it is not unstoppable. There is a calm to be had. There is a better perspective. There is peace.

You see, almost a couple of years back now, I was given a verse. During an intense and challenging time, I prayed for a verse to rest my faith on. It came. It came with a double rainbow, in fact. It was really very cool but better than the cool factor was the way I could actually rest my faith on this verse. The verse was and is, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." This is found in Romans 8:28. All things. Not some things. Not these things but not those things. All things. All.

Claiming that verse, I was given peace. There was Someone bigger than all of the chaos that surrounded me. This Someone was and is working all things together for my good. Somehow, some way. Things were not out of control. They were out of my control but not His...and given the possibility of me reverting to that grasping, clutching and controlling mess, it is a good thing they were out of my control!

When I remember that verse, and really it should not be so easy to forget, given the double rainbow and all, my focus shifts back to where it should be. Calm returns. Even in the chaos.

Thankful.

Peeling Layers

This morning I took a walk to a small woodland patch not far from my home. I brought my camera and also my thoughts from my Bible reading. How soothing and nurturing this was for me. Hearing from my Heavenly Father from His Word, in the beautiful creation around me and also from inside my heart...there is no greater part of my day.

It has been a grueling and growing time for me spiritually, these past months. Layers have been peeled back to show me what I've needed to see. I have prayed for this. It is not an easy thing to pray. It is a more difficult thing to not pray it back.  But I have not.  There is purpose in the peeling. And it is good.

Seeing and Knowing

I don't see clearly yet.
I don't know fully yet.
But one day...

Turtle Island

I have spent a good deal of time looking out over at this island. I've canoed to this island, swam around this island, and I've even camped on this island. There are many good memories that come back to me when I see this picture.

More recently, my daughter has spent a good deal of time looking out over at this island.  She too now has significant memories of being in the same place but hers are her own memories and are different than mine. Hers is her own growing and learning and becoming a beautiful, strong woman of faith.

How beautiful.

Signs of Spring

Today is a chilly day by last week's standard, but springtime nonetheless. I took a break from some studio work to poke around in my backyard to see if spring would show itself to me. I didn't have to look too hard.

Along our railway ties that surround our patio, patches of moss have begun to grow. The green colour breathes life into the air and sparks hope for more of the same.

Spring is a season brimming with new life, new beginnings. This reminds me of God's mercies, new each morning, not only in springtime.  Like signs of spring, I don't have to look too hard for these either. They are all around me. Thankful.

Quietly

...He leads me beside quiet waters.

Psalm 23:2

Imagine

Imagine the possibilities and promise in this day and beyond. Allow your heart to hope in what is true and sure and also unseen. There is more than what we see. The sky is not the limit. My friends, there is so much more.

This is a picture I took using a zoom effect in camera and also layering in processing. Both lend themselves to imagination and invite us to consider the possibilities and promise we do not see.