Top Trends for Spring - Commentary by Moi

According to an article written by Miranda Furtado (any relation to the one that sings??) in The Winnipeg Free Press, these are the hot fashion trends for the spring of 2011:
Bold Colours
- So bright you may need your sunglasses, in fact. I have a handy pair of "box-overs" that might go well with the brights. I am always sure to make my family proud when I wear these.
Asian Themed
- I used to have a mandarin collared shirt but I don't think I do anymore.
Sheer Madness
- Sheer fabrics, maybe even for that floor length frock. Yeah, this isn't going to happen for this gal.
Longer Hemlines
- Below the knee they say. If you are short, buy heels they say. Mini-skirts are out - Maxi-dresses are in.       Skirts? Dresses? I'll stick with pants, thanks.
Neutrals
- These never left my closet.
Lace
- I'm itchy.
70's - Get your Groove On!
- See picture below. I'm good.
Prints
- Think jungle. Don't we, all of the ladies I mean, gravitate towards the animal print as we age?
Sequins
-Bedazzle me bling!
Halter Necklines
- Good for the beach I say.